New Orleans in three days. I'm okay with it, my parents are starting to drive me insane and I need a few days away from them.

It's like this...you know when your friends/people you know say something really small to you, but it's negative. They say it just casually and usually it's just a joke but it still gets to you and bugs you for the rest of your life. Basically, my parents do that all the time. And it's constant. Especially my dad. And usually I just shake it off because most of the time they say it offhandedly whenthey're not paying attention or when they're angry. But, hell...it's still painful!

My dad's in this bad mood today though. Terrible. And ever since he got home he's been harping at me for everything I do. First it was the dishwasher, then he practically shot me when I turned on the television ('BUZZ OFF') and after I got home from this meeting he freaked at me and my mom did too. And then my mom has the nerve to talk to me about it and how I need to watch what I say because my 'dad is in a mood'.

What?! Since when it is my fault that my dad acts like a three year old girl and bitches and sulks about everything. I barely even argue with him and he still treats me like an idiot. Like, I get that I can take things for granted especially with this baseball business. But quite honestly, they need to realize that I'm only 16 - not twenty, and I do have feelings. They treat me like I don't even matter. They never say that shit to my brother, it's only me because I'm the oldest and whatnot.

I'm sick of it. I finally told my mom that some of the shit they say to me makes me feel like crap, and she said something slightly sarcastic. Which also made me feel like crap.

At least I tried.

No reason for this update really. I stayed hometoday though. It snowed so much last night and then there was freezing rain and even though the roads are pretty good, whatever. I have a headache, probably need glasses...so I stayed home.

I just, basically updated to show off my new icon. I think it's fucking hilarious.

And to do a quiz. :)

( this one's kinda funny )

I can't believe it. It's been probably over half a year that we've been planning this trip to New Orleans and it's actually one week away. In case some of you aren't aware, I (and several people from my school...most of the football team, about a dozen other girls and some teachers) are going down to New Orleans, Louisiana and helping with the cleanup of the area. It's stunning actually, because even though the hurricane was a year or two ago, most of the areas aren't cleaned up. The football coach, God bless his heart, decided to do this and I can't believe how popular it is.

We're leaving next Thursday late at night and stopping in Nashville the next Friday. It's going to be so fun, I'm psyched. It's going to be a lot of work and it's going to be really tiring, but I'm just happy to be part of it.

It's just scary! A week...and I never realized Louisiana was so farrrr.

AND OMG JENNIFER HUDSON WON! I was so happy for her! I had to admit, when I saw the other nominees and that first Mexican lady came on the screen I got scared. Because, damn that woman can act! But she won! I thought she was really touching and so adorable. And the Dreamgirls medley was all sorts of brilliant! I was actually stunned, not just by Jennifer Hudson (who should have worn that red dress to the oscars and not that brown one!) but all of them. Beyonce sang that song so well and I was really glad for her because at the Grammy's it wasn't exactly the best performance I've ever heard. But she looked beautiful and she said Listen well. But I couldn't help but notice that the parts where JHud sang Listen were fantastic...she totally blew Beyonce out of the water.

But they were all good...it was just..gahh! And the oscars were good in general this year. I say, bring Ellen back for a second year! Or Billy Crystal again, that man is funny.

I just wanted to update this:



I found this courtesy of ONTD and I HAD to share it on here for you guys that either a) aren't joined to it or b) didn't play the video. It's absolutely FANTASTIC. Whitney Houston, in my mind, will be the greatest singer ever until I die.

I mean...Whitney Houston...singing And I Am Telling You? How could I lose?!

PA Day :) I'm really excited actually. I've been unusually exhausted for the past two weeks, and last weekend I didn't have much time to sleep. I was supposed to work Sunday which would just about killed me since I already have to wake up early and whatnot.

I don't really know what else to talk about. Everything's been very...rushed lately, I guess. I've had to figure out what I want to be when I'm older, pick all of my courses, and actually try to stay awake. All the while, I'm still not even sure that what I picked to be when I'm older is what I truly want. It is, I mean..I picked writer..journalist. I'd be really good at it, but I have this feeling that I'd be a really amazing doctor, or psychiatrist...or something like that. But then I think about it, and I realize I don't really want to do that. I love english, all aspects of it. I love writing and I love how you can have all this freedom, and I love that there's so many things you could do. You could be JK Rowling and do freelance and make hundreds of millions of dollars, or you could be my family friend Rob Russo and want to become a lawyer, and stumble into journalism and still make thousands of dollars. I like freedom, so this seems perfect. But there's still that lingering 'what if' which is quite possibly the most annoying thing on the face of the planet.

But it's done, I've picked my courses and tried to leave all my options open. I picked two sciences, chemistry and biology incase I decide to do something doctor-ish. I picked anthropology/psychology/sociology incase I want to be a psychiatrist or something, history because I love it. English because that's what I (think I) want to do. And media arts, incase a graphic artist appeals to me. Sound reasonable to you?

( name game )

I'm feeling creative today. I have no reason to, I just am. But...GOD. I hate careers though. It's so pointless...it's like a whole class of 'discovering yourself'. I guess it's okay in terms of..like, I get an education. But I could be taking a course that actually helps me.

Dawn and I have our future plan though! I'm going to get a scholarship to the University of Florida and Dawn is going to apply there. And then we're going to go down together and live with her aunt and uncle and hang out in Florida where it's hot and go to DISNEYWORLD EVERY DAY. OMG.

I'm actually way too excited.

I'm going to go fix my back pains.

Okay,so...went on ONTD and found possibly the funniest picture in life.

Slightly NSFW?
( oh daniel... )

Today was cool. I was actually so tired, so I asked my mom if I could stay home and she said yes. So, I watched part of Sleeping Beauty and The Swan Princess :).

So, my trip to New Orleans is creeping closer ever so slowly. I'm really excited because it's such a great opportunity. I think too often people my age who are living with shelter, and food and clothing and whatnot take it for granted. I've always wanted to travel somewhere and work for charity, and I was actually so happy that my school was doing it. It's a cheap trip, and we're helping people with our parish in New Orleans. It's such a great opportunity, and I seriously can't wait. I'm rooming with a few good friends and we're stopping off in Nashville and are going to a hockey game and going shopping (even though..like, Nashville. What is in Nashville?). So, I'm excited.

But I'm also massively scared :| Mostly because I'm terrified of that what I'll end up seeing in New Orleans is as bad as they say on television. I'm afraid I'll just burst out in tears in front of everybody and look like an ass. Plus, apparently murder/rape is on the move down there...so that's a bit scary! But I'm still excited. 40 hours of community service hours and a good experience? I'm all over that shit.

Anyway, I found a few pictures on my other computer that I had scanned and they were too priceless to pass up, so I shall scare them with you all :)
( shalalalala ain't that sad )

LOL. I love those. Hope you guys did too :P

Today was a good day.

School is boring, and my classes suck of course.

But I like it :)

And I'm still awkward around boys.

But I'll deal.

And I finally updated my fanfiction after months. Quite proud, if I do say so myself.

I don't have much to say, actually. I just felt like updating and thought I had more to say. Apparently, I don't.

( suddenly i seeeee )

Is there such a thing as a mid-mid-life crisis?

If so, I'm having it.

I don't know how to explain it. I mean, we all know that I love Disney movies. But it's not just Disney movies, it's basically all of the animated movies I used to watch when I was young. And I've even downloaded all of the music to my mp3 also. Like, The Swan Princess and Thumbelina. OH MANN. I love those movies!

And I seriously think there's something wrong with me. Because the animated characters in said movies actually turn me on :| WTF? It's actually insane. I think it's the singing voices. I'm strangely attracted to male singing voices. I don't even know why.

But yeah,maybe it's just the music. Because the music in movies like this are actually so pretty. Like, the music for Thumbelina was conducted by Barry frickin' Manilow. But it's weird, it'slike I'm going back in time! Hah. Today, I was at the Disney Store and they practically had to drag me out. I wanted EVERYTHING. It was so fun, lmao. I seriously want to be a kid, they have amazing toys now! I totally found a Disney Princess castle and I just turned to my mom and went, "I hate you for not buying me this!"

Oh well :) I like being a kid. What's wrong with watching Disney movies instead of getting drunk on Friday nights? NOTHING. THAT'S WHAT.

ps; new layouttt nanners_77. That's what I forgot to say yesterday.

This week has lasted so long. Like, actually so loing that it upsets me. I hate having lunch at a different time. For every single semester, I've had lunch at 12:05 and now I have it at 10:45. Which is okay, I mean I'm always hungry after second period. But it makes the day seem so much longer because I have lunch, and then I'm used to going to fourth period and leaving. But instead I go to lunch, then third and then fourth. So the day is EXTRA long.

Not a big deal. On the plus side, nobody stole my gum today.

But, I had the Beep Test and it was insane. I got to level five and totally quit because my lungs were about to burst. Come on, it was like eight in the morning and I had to run 50 some-odd laps. Pain! And then we had to do static push ups and I basically died. It's a full push-up but instead of moving you hold the position without moving. It didn't even bother me that like everybody was watching me, but I had to hold it for 38 seconds and after 10 I was shaking like a mofo. It kind of looked like I was having a seizure, I think...

I'm tired. But I need to stay up to watch The Hills. I also like to stay up because on the Family Channel at like 12:45 am they have the old, old, old Spiderman and I love it. So I like to watch that sometimes :)

Nothing much to report. Hah. Boring day, even though I had a headache. I had to stay late after school but what else is new?

( a quiz...to waste more time )

I was going to say something else. But I forget.

I was so frustrated today. The whole day actually. I think I'm either getting sick or have pent-up rage from the new found 'rotator cuff injury'. I haven't posted about that yet, but basically every time I throw it hurts so bad. And, I never know how to properly explain the pain so when people ask I get angry. ANYWAY - rotator cuff injuries are bad, especially when you play baseball and use your rotator cuff on a regular basis. So, I'm going in for an MRI and whatnot and hopefully this will be solved. In the meantime, I have officially been forced not to do any sort of throwing with my arm. But it sucks because every five minutes people are like 'How does it feel?' and I don't know how to explain it. So, I just say 'Well, imagine this - every time you throw, there is a big hulkish man standing beside you. You get into the motion, release the ball - and he stabs you with a steak knife.' Whatev. I'll deal.

Anyway, I decided to post a list of my pet peeves (which all, coincidentally, happened on this day. Perhaps that's why I'm in such a crappy mood.). The first one is when people make fun of people who have died. I should be saying people in general, but some people ask for it. But seriously, after somebody dies why should you be allowed to trash them? Honestly. It's useless, and disrespectful. The last thing I'm sure the family wants to see is a bunch of websites talking about their daughter (ie, Anna Nicole Smith - RIP) and how she was a trashy drunk. Let's face it - the poor woman is dead. She left a five month old daughter and her son died only a few months before she did. It's not the right time to be pointing out her faults, you know? And this goes for anybody. It happened today at this assembly we attended in school for Anti Smoking. They showed various pictures of sick people, one happened to be a man sitting with his three year old son. Then they showed a picrture of him two months later dying of cancer, and people actually started to laugh. I was so angry because that rings true in my life since that's basically the exact way my grandfather died. I was so upset.

The second pet peeve is when people are walking in front of you and then stop for absolutely no reason. The grade nines in my school are notorious for this. It's like, you've set into a groove and you're either in a rush or you just like to walk at a comfortable, constant pace and then the jackoff in front of you decides to stop mid-step to check out something on the floor. And they don't even realize that there's probably about forty people behind them getting pissed out of their minds because they've just been held up for a few seconds and practically did a faceplant in the person in front of them. It's actually the most annoying thing ever. And when kids in my school do it, they'll stop and start chatting with friends. Then they'll move around the width of the hallway so even if you're infuriated and just try to barrel past them, you can't because those losers just keep moving in your goddamn way! This happened today on the way to fourth period. Not the best time! Especially when I'm exhausted and an hour and a half away from freedom. Except this time I'm walking and this girl is in front of me. She rushes up to this boy who is walking towards me, stops and blocks me, and then the two walk right at me even though I'm clearly moving the opposite way. And instead of moving (or at least moving APART so I can walk between them, I'm not picky!) they move as if they've joined as one and block me off completely.

The last one (for now) is probably going to sound very petty and selfish to most of you. Okay, so you know in school, most of you probably carry a pack of gum or something with you. I always have to have something; gum, mints...candies...anything. I have this thing about bad breath. Anyway, so my mom bought me a new pack yesterday and my pet peeve is when people take my gum without asking. It's so petty but it bothers the fuck out of me. It started last semester in science when Irene kept going into my bag and stealing my gum without asking. So, I'd tell her to ask. And then she would start poking fun at me, 'oh, poor Deanna's losing her gummm!' to which I'd be like 'STOP TAKING MY FUCKING GUM BITCH!' Like, if you want one...then ask nicely. I probably won't say no unless I'm having a super bad day or you're pissing me off.

It's just, when people reach into my bag and then take it EVERYONE starts flocking because everyone's too goddamn cheap to buy their own fucking gum. Like today, Dawn was acting like a jerkoff (YEAH, I SAID IT DAWN) and took my gum (WHICH I WOULD HAVE GAVE YOU TO IF YOU ASKED NICELY) and then starts acting like a bigger jerkoff and throws it to Sandra. Sandra takes one, then all of those other jerkoffs start taking all my fucking gum. LONG STORY SHORT, there's a three dollar pack of gum with only one left because those scavengers can't fucking buy they're OWN THREE DOLLAR PACKS OF GUM. I got two. That's right, two. And those assholes are off chewing my gum that I didn't get to chew. And did any of them say thank you? No. None of them except Nicky and Tanya. In fact, the other people just laughed. HAHAH, real funny guys. Seriously, next time you fuckers take my gum again I'll shove the empty back down your throats and make you chew cardboard instead.

I'm not trying to be petty. But I'm not the type of person to have one piece of gum, spit it out five minutes later, and take another. That pack probably would have lasted me at least another week. But a day? Never imagined that.

AM I RIGHT PEOPLE? Ignore the gum thing. It makes me sound like a massive bitch. But it applies to everything. It's kind of like the same principle, like when your parents walk into your room and start looking for shit when you don't want them in there. And you're yelling your pants off because it's your room, and sweet god maybe you have things in there that you don't want your parents to see. And they just keep looking. And you just keep yelling, and then you get the 'it's my house, my rules' lecture. Except, friends don't give you that. In fact, I should. It's my gum, my rules...fuckers!

I really need to calm down. PS; did you all know that Survivor started again? LORD. It's time that show is off the air. But, Deal or No Deal first. PLEASE.

Exams are finito, homeslice. I'm so psyched about that, for sure. The science exam wasn't too hard - I was just super paranoid because all bloody Sunday I was getting calls from Irene, 'I heard thi s was on the test', 'She said it was really hard!', 'What is the answer for this?'

GAH. STFU.

Can't a girl study in peace? Jesus.

So yeah, I was kind of freaked out because everyone I talked to that had my teacher said that the exam was 'really, really hard...I think I failed it'. But I definitely didn't fail it. I wouldn't say I did perfect but I studied hard enough to raise my grade, for sure. I think I had a 79%? Or something...which sucks but whatev. And If I had an 80 or higher my mark would have raised, so good times.

But yeah, exams are over. Today was super fun though. I spent the day with Sam and her boy Tres. I like that kid, he's really nice. But it was so nice to see Sam, I haven't seen her since frigin September! It was fun. But awkward at moments because you could totally tell they were like making out right before I got there. Ah well.

So, my boss called me. I have this.."on site" job I guess you could call it. It isn't like your typical Tim Horton's job where I have a uniform and such. My boss (or one of them) picks me up and I basically sit in the back of a car for four hours with a partner my age and get paid 10$ an hour to lie. So good times. But, they rarely call me which doesn't necessarily bother me but whatever. The one time they actually decide to is the one day I have off and the one time I want to sleep in, and they always have to make it at like negative four in the morning. So, she told me she would pick me up at 9:30 am and I was like..DEATH. But she got sick, and I'm excited because I haven't slept in...until Sunday. But seriously, I need to rejuvinate after exams! Gosh.

Anyway, I'm going to go to sleep. I think I'm just going to spend the day watching movies by my lonesome tomorrow. I'm in that kind of mood, you know? Where you just want to be alone and watch a bunch of movies and pig out and stuff. I like to hook up the VHS and play old tapes, like Disney tapes. And such.

Night :)

I have something shocking for you all.

( the sun! the sun! )

Rupert Grint's tummy was much more pleasent to look at.

I'm a bored mofo.

So bored.

And I should be memorizing the weather unit for science, but I'm not. I just want exams to be over, gosh!

Here's a quiz. Asks the same questions as every other but I'm bored.

( science...is bad for your soul )

Just a quick update before I go study.

Do any of you, flist, have any good fics? Preferrably either SOR or Harry Potter. I've been feeling a little bored with my writing lately, and need a few good (long?) fics to read for inspiration. Anybody?

I'm off. Science, here I come!

Three exams done! I seriously am super glad about that because I really, really hate studying. I actually didn't study much for the three of them, but they were all easy so that's okay. My Media Arts portfolio presentation went pretty well. He asked stupid questions though...and half the time I didn't know what to say.

But, have you ever been asked the question 'If you were trapped on a deserted island, what three things would you bring?' and then have people say gay things like music, or whatever? Seriously. I would TOTALLY bring a plane, a pilot and/or water and gasoline for the plane. Seriously. Oh well, hah.

Uhh, but yeah. Spent the entire day studying for chemistry and biology. Which wasn't as bad as I thought, but going over chemistry was hell since I haven't done it since November/December. Tomorrow I'm doing physics and weather which is going to be easy because they're easy units. But memorizing bio is what I'm dreading.

Oh well, at least exams are almost over!!

But I'm working at 9:30 am on one of my days off...gaah! The one time they actually decide to call me is the day that I want to sleep in. SCREW THEM.

( quizzes? bahaha. )

So, get this..my mom has an ipod and my dad got an mp3 today. And they're both listening to them all bloody day. Except, when my dad has them on he talks really loud, and when my mom has them on she can't hear anything AND she controls the television. It was driving me INSANE. I was like, OMG PEOPLE. Both of you are screaming.

Whatev.

Studying went well today. I'm pretty chill about it now, for a few hours on Thursday and Friday I was freaking out just because I have four exams this week and haven't started studying for either. But then I sort of weighed everything; media arts isn't that bad, I mean I already know pretty much everything so that's okay. Math is sort of...there isn't much studying you can do for math. Just write down the formulas, and do the practice questions...and religion class is a joke so it should be fine.

I'm just worried for science. But I'm pretty sure it won't be that hard once I "tackle" it.

I'm bored and going to bed now. Night.

I can't decide if I'm going to fail, or going to fail miserably. I know I won't fail but like...my exams start in less than a week and I haven't studied for any of my subjects. Except math, indirectly.

I don't know. Honestly, I can't study for months like some people do. I should be able to and I'm sure that's going to seriously damage me when I get to university but I work better under pressure in everything I do. Whether it's going up to bat when there is two out in the last inning, a runner on third and we're down by one run - or when I have five exams to study for and I haven't started any of them.

Oh well. Hah.

I'm going to do a quiz quickly, take a shower, and then study mercilessly until 10:00 pm.
( here )

Alright. I'm going to go study/die now.

This whole facebook business is really getting on my nerves. First of all, yes I was the one who told Nicky about the profile but only because at the time, I was unaware that it was actually not Nicky. But HOLY CRAP it was blown way out of proportion!! She told her dad, which is expected, and he is absolutely apeshit about it. Honestly, yes it was kind of creepy that this person pretended to be Nicky - but the comments she made were not degrading or rude, she basically was just trying to find out information about Julie and what happened regarding her last summer. That is honestly the extent of her actions. Personally, I don't think that it's all that bad. Creepy, yes. Angering, sure! Bad, not really.

But Rick is taking this so far...it's actually getting really annoying now. He contacted the website and they're in the works of getting the IP address and stuff, and he sent a long e-mail to the entire team. How ridiculous! He was like "I just wanted to let you know." Why?! Basically, to get everyone on the team in trouble if they have a profile on facebook. And like - ugh. So annoying. This isn't the team's business, it isn't even my business even though I told her about it.

Oh well. To each his own.